Song Fic Medley!
by Kitty Kat Mac
Summary: Writer's block has momentarily left... Hope you enjoy!
1. Voldemort's Back

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This J.K.'s and  
who ever wrote 'My Boyfriend's Back'  
Written by: Brown Eyed Faerie

This was written for Jack-a-lantern who  
looks up to Voldermort as a role model

Voldemort's Back  
As sung by the Death Eater Chorus  
With back-up sung by Lucius Malfoy

(Spoken) He went away and you hung around  
And lived through your every fight  
And now that he's back he'll do things that aren't very nice

Voldemort's back and you're gonna be in trouble  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
When you see him comin' ya better fly out on the double  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
They been spreading lies that he was scared of you  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
So look out Harry Potter he's comin' after you  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
  
Hey, he knows that you been livin'  
And his battles he'll start winnin'  
  
He's been gone for such a long time  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
Now he's back and murder will be fine  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
You're gonna be sorry you were ever born  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
'Cause he's really big and his magic's really strong  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
  
Hey, he knows that death you're cheatin'  
And now you'll get a beatin'  
  
What made you think you'd never die?  
(Aah-ooh, aah-ohh)  
You're a big boy now but he'll hex you down to size  
(Aah-ooh, aah-ohh)  
Wait and See!

Voldemort's back, gonna save his reputation  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
If I were you, I'd take a permanent vacation  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
Hey, I can see him comin'  
Now you better start a' runnin'  
(Aah-ooh, aah-ohh) (aah-ohh)  
Wait and see!

Voldemort's back, gonna save his reputation  
(Hey-la hey-la, Voldie's back)  
Yeah Voldemort's back  
Well look out now, Voldemort's back  
Well, I can see him coming  
So you better start a' runnin'  
a'right now yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah  
Voldemort's back...

* * *

Ok. That's it. Review Please.  
If I get enough, I just may do some more songs.


	2. Seeker Boi

As usual, nothing's mine! That ok with you guys?  
If not, sucks to your ass-mar, cuz I'm not making cash offa this!  
By the way, forgive any catty remarks made by the author...  
  
Seeker Boi  
  
He was a boy, she was a girl  
Can I be any more obvious?  
He played Seeker; she did the same  
Both were excellent at the game (though she was a bit bitchy about it)  
He wanted her; but now she would tell  
That she wanted him to go to hell  
Each of her friends stuck up her nose (as purple spotted as one was)  
They had a problem with the path he chose  
  
He was a Seeker Boi  
She said 'I won't keep that boi'  
He wouldn't bend his way to her  
She had a 'pretty' face, but her head was up in space  
She had so much more to learn  
  
Five years from now, she sits at home  
Feeling real sad 'cuz she's all alone  
Turned on T.V.; guess who she sees?  
Seeker Boi rockin' up Q.T.V. (Quidditch Television!)  
She calls all her friends; the answer's the same  
And they all buy tickets to see his game  
She tags along and stands in the crowd  
Looking up at the man she turned down...  
  
He was a Seeker Boi  
She said 'I won't keep that boi'  
He wouldn't bend his way to her  
She had a 'pretty' face, but her head was up in space  
She had so much more to learn  
  
Sorry girl but you missed out  
Well tough luck that boy's mine now  
We are more than just good friends  
This is how the story ends  
Too bad that you couldn't see  
See the man that boy could be  
There is more than meets the eye  
I see the soul down deep inside  
He's just a boi; and I'm just a girl  
Can I be anymore obvious?  
We are in love; haven't you heard?  
How we rock each other's world?  
  
I'm with the Seeker Boi  
I'm gonna keep that Boi  
I'll see ya after the match  
We'll chase Snitches near and far  
I'll keep your game up to par  
'Cuz I know that you're the perfect catch

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Song two down! I've got three très magnifique reviewrs! YAY!


	3. The Dungeon Block Tango

Chicago happens to be one of my all time fave musicals, and this is my fave  
song. So shall we?  
  
The Dungeon Block Tango  
  
Cho: Pop!  
Pansy: Six!  
Ginny: Squish!  
Luna: Uh-uh!  
Hermione: Greenhouse!  
Millicent: Zabini!

Dean as the band caller: And now the six merry ladies of Professor Snape's  
detention present their rendition of 'The Dungeon Block Tango!'  
[Lights come up and show six doors, each with a girl behind it dancing]

Cho: Pop!  
Pansy: Six!  
Ginny: Squish!  
Luna: Uh-uh!  
Hermione: Greenhouse!  
Millicent: Zabini!  
  
Cho: Pop!  
Pansy: Six!  
Ginny: Squish!  
Luna: Uh-uh!  
Hermione: Greenhouse!  
Millicent: Zabini!  
  
All: He had it comin'!  
He had it comin'!  
He only had himself to blame!  
If you'da been there!  
If you'da seen it!

Hermione: I betcha you woulda done the same!

Cho: Pop!  
Pansy: Six!  
Ginny: Squish!  
Luna: Uh-uh!  
Hermione: Greenhouse!  
Millicent: Zabini!  
  
[Cho's door slides open and she steps forward and begins dancing with a  
silhouetted young man]  
You know how people have those little habits that get you down?  
Like Colin Creevy!  
Colin liked to snap photos  
No not snap, POP!  
So I come off the pitch this one day after having lost a match  
And looking for a little bit of sympathy  
And there's Colin standing by the lockers, chugging a butterbeer and  
snappin'  
No not snappin', POPPIN'!  
So I said to him, I said  
You pop that camera one more time... [Starts giggling like mad]  
AND HE DID!  
So I pulled out my wand and shot two Stupefys  
INTO HIS HEAD!

All: He had it comin'!  
He had it comin'!  
He only had himself to blame!  
If you'da been there!  
If you'da heard it!  
I betcha you woulda done the same!  
  
[The girls all sing 'He had it comin' as Pansy steps forward and begins  
dancing with her partner]  
I met Draco Malfoy when I was eleven years old  
And the society papers said he was single  
We hit it off right away  
After a few years we started dating  
We'd snog in the halls  
We'd go to Hogsmeade together  
We'd pick on Gryffindors  
It was like we owned the whole school  
Then I found out  
Single they told me  
SINGLE MY ASS!  
Not only was he dating  
Oh no, he had six chicks  
One of those players ya know  
So one night in the hall  
I lured him out after hours, as usual  
Ya know some guys just can't take a good _Crucio_!

All: He had it comin'!  
He had it comin'!  
He took a flower in its prime!  
Then he used it!  
And he abused it!  
It was a hexing but not a crime!  
  
[Ginny prances forward and begins her dance]  
Now I'm sitting in the Great Hall  
Eatin' Roast Chicken for dinner  
Mindin' my own business  
Over storms Corner in a steaming rage  
'You beat Cho to impress Potter?' He says  
He was crazy  
And he kept on screaming 'You beat Cho to impress Potter!'  
Then he ran into my fist  
He ran into my fist ten times!

All: If you'da been there!  
If you'da seen it!  
I betcha you woulda done the same!

[Luna reluctantly slouches forward]  
::Luna begins speaking in the language of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack  
Her voice rises and falls slowly, revealing her pain, fear and emotion::

Ginny: YEAH, BUT DIDJA DO IT!  
Luna: Uh-uh! Not guilty!  
  
[The girls all sing 'He had it comin' as Hermione saunters forward]  
My friend Viktor and I had considered dating  
So he came to Hogwarts as a surprise  
Now whenever he came to see me  
We'd always go do fun things together  
Swim, dance, picnic, sneak to the kitchens, fly  
All kindsa good stuff  
So the last time he visited  
We were down in the Greenhouse having a picnic  
Ya know the two of us, talkin, havin' a few laughs  
Well we run out of ice, so I go to the kitchen to get some  
I come back  
Open the door  
And there's Viktor  
Snogging the face off Lavender Brown  
THE WHORE!  
Well, I completely blacked out I can't remember a thing  
It wasn't until later  
When I was in the infirmary  
I even realised they had been hexed!

They had it comin'!  
[Rest of the girls: They had it comin'!]  
They had it comin' all along!  
[Rest of the girls: They had it comin all along'!]  
I didn't do it!  
[Rest of the girls: She didn't do it!]  
But if I'd done it  
[Rest of the girls: But if she'd done it!]  
How couldja tell me that I was wrong!  
They had it comin'!  
[Rest of the girls: He took a flower in its prime!]  
They had it comin' all along!  
[Rest of the girls: Then he used it!]  
I didn't do it!  
[Rest of the girls: And he abused it !]  
But if I'd done it  
[Rest of the girls: It was a hexing but not a crime!]  
How couldja tell me that I was wrong!

[Millicent rises from the floor and starts dancing]  
I loved Blaise Zabini more than I could possibly say  
He was my perfect guy  
Pureblood  
A hottie  
But he was always trying to find himself  
He'd go out every night looking for himself  
And on the way  
He found Ruth  
Gladys  
Rosemary  
And Draco  
I guess you could say we broke up over commitment issues  
You see he's committed to staying alive  
And I am committed to making him DEAD!

All: The dirty bum...  
Bum...  
Bum...  
The dirty bum...  
Bum...  
Bum...  
All: They had it comin'!  
They had it comin'!  
They had it comin' all along!  
'Cuz if they use us  
And they abuse us  
How could you tell us that we were wrong!  
All: He had it comin'!  
He had it comin'!  
He only had himself to blame!  
If you'da been there!  
If you'da seen it!  
I betcha you woulda done the same  
  
Cho: You pop that camera one more time...  
Pansy: Single my ass  
Ginny: Ten times  
Luna: Rambles in the language of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack  
Hermione: Snogging Lavender Brown that whore  
Millicent: Commitment issues  
  
Cho: Pop!  
Pansy: Six!  
Ginny: Squish!  
Luna: Uh-uh!  
Hermione: Greenhouse!  
Millicent: Zabini!  
[The six separate doors slam shut]


	4. The Gryffindor Club

Hi, I'm back! I haven't died or anything, only began my second year at college. I had a real parody dry spell. But moment it's over and I had a stroke of brilliance. I'm also working on the sequel to Sleeping Ginny, which is a Herm/Ron production and is still currently untitled. I'm totally up for ideas as to the title. This song's name is 'The Vampire Club' by Voltaire and on his CD 'Boo-Hoo.' Coolest CD ever if you ask me. So here we go!

* * *

The Gryffindor Club

Well the moon was full and the colour of blood

The night the Slytherins came to the Gryffindor Club

The leader was blonde and snide and slim

He looked like the world should bow to him

Well he recognised a Gryffindor from his school

He did something that was most uncool

He said, 'Hey everybody see the fool in the specs?

His name's Harry Potter and Lord Voldy wants him dead!'

Spells were flyin'

Cloaks were torn

Hell hath no fury like a Gryffindor scorned

Number one rule in this game

Never mention the Dark Lord's Na-ame

Hair was pulled

Top hats were crushed  
The pointy boots in the rush

And Hagrid at the bar, poured out some brew

And said 'Just another night at the GC to you?'

Ginny slipped and fell in the ladies room

We all laughed and called her Myrtle II

Wood was mad 'cuz Marcus came

And tried to flush his Nimbus down the drain

There was much angst after the fight

Seamus and Lav broke up that night

While the Creevey brothers danced in a puddle of goo

That used to be Professor Snape (boo-hoo)

Spells were flyin'

Cloaks were torn

Hell hath no fury like a Gryffindor scorned

Number one rule in this game

Never mention the Dark Lord's Na-ame

Hair was pulled

Top hats were crushed  
The pointy boots in the rush

And Hagrid at the bar, poured out some brew

And said 'Just another night at the GC to you?'

Well it's hard to believe but we're still around

When we hang out

The wands are ready but down

'Constant Vigilance' is what they say

So you better look out 'cuz we're ready any day!

A gaggle of the Gryffs is a peaceful sight

Who'd do anything to avoid a fight

But if ya really wanna see some gore n' blood

Wait 'til the Death Eaters come to the Gryffindor Club!

Spells were flyin'

Cloaks were torn

Hell hath no fury like a Gryffindor scorned

Number one rule in this game

Never mention the Dark Lord's Na-ame

Hair was pulled

Top hats were crushed  
The pointy boots in the rush

And Hagrid at the bar, poured out some brew

And said 'Just another night at the GC to you?'

* * *

Ok, there's the newest installment! If you want to hear the actual song, the review, IM me, email, something, and I'll get it to you!

Lots of love,

Brown Eyed Faerie

P.S. Sorry 'bout the title being so far over. The editor won't let me do anything else...


	5. I Can't Get No Quidditch Action

The Brown Eyed Faerie is BACK everyone! I've been obsessing over this song recently, and it struck me like LIGHTNING! Not as great as the 'Cell Block,' but not as obscure as 'The Gryffindor Club' It's done to the Britney Spears version. I hate her, but I love her version of it, so have fun!

* * *

(I Can't Get No) Quidditch Action

Sung by: Harry Potter

I can't get no Quidditch Action

I can't get no Quidditch Action

And I try, and I try, and I try, and I try

I can't get no, I can't get no Quidditch Action

When I'm walkin' to Hogsmeade

And I see my friends flyin' from below

I keep tellin' myself again and again

How time will pass and my indignation

Will end with Umbridge's resignation

I can't get no, oh no no no

Hey hey hey, this what I say

I can't get no Quidditch Action

I can't get no reaction

And I try, and I try, and I try, and I try

I can't get no, I can't get no Quidditch Action

When I'm walking in the hall

And that teacher comes to tell me

How my pitch is something I'll never see

Well she can't tell me who to be

'Cause it's still part of my identity

I can't get no, oh no no no

I can't get no Quidditch Action

I can't get no Quidditch Action

I can't get no Quidditch Action

I can't get no Quidditch Action

I can't get no Quidditch Action baby

* * *

P.S.A. I have begun my R/H sequel to 'Sleeping Ginny,' but I recently hit a wall… So I need a bit more on that before I begin posting it… 


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